Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Time is not on my side

I would love to write - I have things to workout and writing always helps, but it is a bit too busy right now. Hopefully I will have a good night sleep and maybe some energy tomorrow night. I don't want to let it go - I need to work it out, it just keeps coming back and my re-action is stronger everytime.

Adam has a fever, tough, so sleep may not be mine tonight - yet DH is on holidays and I am the one working and yet I will have to deal with the night waking and/or sick child tomorrow - yes, I need to write to work through how I feel.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The feeling of swimming

Last night I managed to find all the stuff I needed to go swimming - googles, suit, cap, deck shoes, pool that was open, an evening Phil was home.

So I headed off with low expectations of my ability after not really having swum since Nov 06 and great expectations of my enjoyment.

When I got to the change room, the familiar smells of stale towels, chlorine, cleaning agent and general wet stuff made me feel at home. Women of all shapes and sizes were getting dressed to either go lane swim or go home after water aerobics. I found a locker and quickly changed.

Walking out on to deck, I realized I did not know if I was still fast lane material and there were an equal number of swimmers in each lane. I chose the 2nd fastest lane and was prepared to move however it was required.

I put on my cap and slid into the water, its cool depth welcoming me home. Nervously I adjusted the goggles, took a breath, bent my knees and pushed of the wall in a stream line position. One easy dolphin kick was accompanied by a pain in my lower back, so switched to flutter kick and made my way to the top. I was swimming.

In the interest of my shoulders and back, I kicked most of the 800 meters I would swim, trying to engage my abs to do the required work, trying to find my balance point in the water. The first length I used my arms, it was as if I were a new born baby trying to figure out what the limbs were supposed to do and amazed they were attached to my body.

As the pool filled up, I was only vaguely aware of the other people, enough to avoid a collision, but not enough to be aware of what they were swimming, or not swimming. I was in the world of sound that exists with a cap over your ears and your head in a pool. Sounds exist, but with a muted musical quality.

Feeling the cool water move over my body as I propelled my way forward was a homecoming and I find myself longing for the next time I will be able to do it again.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Need Groceries

We went to Regina this weekend and as a result, there are no groceries in the house. The impacts are many:

- boys did not have any waffles or toast for breakfast this AM
- there was not enough food to have a complete breakfast for Phil and I
- there is nothing for lunch
- supper - don't have a clue

This is only an issue because Phil and I both have to work today and I'm not sure when we will get groceries.

I hate being this disorganized!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Aug 6th - 2 birthdays

Yesterday 2 of my friends had birthdays and I was lucky enough to see both of them and have a chance to catch up.

One friend is 2 years older, one is 8 years younger. The older one was a great sounding board for the relationship stuff I have been grappling with and was able to help give me some perspective and validate the way I was feeling.

The common thing with both friends is their joy in life and active life styles. They both inspire me to become active again. I want to share a birthday with them where we all have a recent race story or recent workout to recount rather than my simply listening to their stories with rapt attention.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Struggling to Focus

Wow, what happened during those 5 weeks off? I can not get myself to focus on anything - especially work.

Is it working in my bedroom? Is it wanting to to use my Mac but still not having a vpn client? Is it lack of interest? Is it an inability to grasp the language concepts I need to really dive in with confidence? Is it not being in an office environment? Is it listening to the radio/music while working?

I need to find the silver bullet solution to this folks or soon people will realize that I have not delivered and the schedule impact will be significant.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Don't let go of what sets you free

"There doesn't have to be a number (age or result) associated with doing what you love. His third-place finish on the Champs Elysees is a win for "old farts" everywhere. It is a win for every person who still dreams, still trains, still tries, and still holds on to passion and possibility.

Yes, we should learn to let go of the things that tie us down and hold us back, but we don't have to let go of the things that set us free."

The above is from Kristin Armstrong's blog on 25 July. I love the message - it makes me want to swim!!!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A good day

Today was a good day, this first day of Aug, 2009. Slept in until 6:30, then hit Timmy's on the way to grocery shopping. We rode our bikes to a park (18 km round trip) and played and had a picnic lunch. Then after naps, wii fit with Adam, a little weeding of the garden and then off to Fuddruckers for supper. We stopped at a new park (new to us, long time park) after supper and let the boys climb and play. Finally baths and books and boys to bed. They were happy boys most parts of the day and had huge smiles in the bath. So all in all a good day.