Things I need to remember when the boys are grown

My parents came up for a few days to have Christmas with us. It was a nice time - the boys had fun with grandparents, grandparents had fun with boys, good meals and chatter, two funny movies. I was really impressed that the entire visit went by without my Mom getting dramatic about something - her reactions to things are usually extreme and not measured. Adam dropping a toy garners the same near tear response as him falling and bumping his head. I find I don't share with her when the boys are sick since she then stalks me for updates and even a cold could be a death sentance.

Anyhoo - as they were leaving, Mom thanked us for a nice visit and made some comment about how horrible it would have been if they could not have come up to visit us and she just did not know what she would do with out us having been here this Christmas. WTH? What do i do with a comment like that other than feel bad if we go to England next year. So I said something and it was an awkward end to an otherwise good visit.

After they were gone, I ranted at Phil for a bit. Then I decided that there are things about both of our parents that really irritate me when they visit. So I wanted to write them down so that I can hopefully not do the same thing to the boys when they are grown and I visit them:

- if my stay is longer than 3 days, I'm going to break up the visit with overnight trips so that they can have their own lifes.

- unless ill, I will leave the house every day so that they can have some alone time.

- when asked if I like my fish one way or the other, I will answer with a preference and not say "whatever you like" (I mean, when I ask, I really want to know what the other person wants, if I wanted it a specific way, I would not ask)

- I will try focus on the time we have had together and find the joy in it and not focus (or talk about) how long it will be until we see each other again or how little time we get to spend together

- I will try and find away to let them know that while always welcome, they are not expected to make duty trips home at Christmas (or other big holidays)

ok I can't think of anymore right now, but I am sure I will after my next visit with one or both sets of parents.