I wonder if everyone feels alone and a wee bit isolated or if it just part of my personality?
For as long as I remember, I have always had the feeling that people don't really like me, they just are too polite to tell me to piss off. Before Phil, I only had one romantic relationship where I felt accepted for me. All the rest, the work was in trying to figure out how to behave so that the other person would like me and want to be around me. With Phil, I have always felt like he likes me for who I really am (you know, he may not like parts of me, but on the whole, he likes me).
But even with my friends, there have only been a few female friends that I have felt really like me - and right now there are none in my day to day life. I find it tough to make friends since I am always feeling like I am intruding.
The stupidest thing triggered this line of thought, but hopefully it will go away soon. If not, I can just remove the trigger from my life.
But for now, it makes me feel very alone and loney.
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2 comments:
I too feel like that, and tend to stew in it for a while. I think it's normal. I accept all of you lol If that makes a difference :)
Every single person on this planet feels the same way at some point. Some days are just like that. Then other days, thankfully are not. If we lived in the same city, we would totally be real life friends, the real kind where they accept all of you.
I think this is why I hang on to my friends from childhood with both hands. To get to that full acceptance stage takes years and years. Of fights, misunderstandings then making up, of being a unit and fighting each others battles of being friends through parties and major life dramas. Women I think need that year in year out constancy to make deep friendships. We are so complicated we have an urge to bond nose to toes. That can make things really messy and in the world such as it is right now, most of us don't have the luxury of having the same close friends stay close for decades.
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