Did I give up because it was hard?

Today I spent most of the day trying to get to Toronto. Saskatoon was fogged in so my plane was over 3 hours late leaving. I finally got here and got 2 hours of work in. I should be working right now (and will start soon) but I also have not had much chance to write.

The boys are with my parents. I know that they will have a blast this week - swimming, shopping, playing outside, being made to be the center of my parents world. So I am not worried or feeling bad about leaving them there for the week.

On the plane, I watched Marley and me. There is a scene where the husband and wife are fighting shortly after the birth of their 2nd child. After the fight they actually start talking. The entire sequence could have been taken from our life late last summer/early fall. In the movie, the wife tells the husband how much she has given up of herself and how lost she feels and it was so much harder than she ever thought it could be. He suggests that they get some help and she tells him that she does not want them to be the parents that only see their children for an hour a day and on weekends. She tells him that she is not going to give up just because it is hard.

I started to cry.

Last summer, it was hard. I gave up and went back to work letting Anita (who the boys love) take over the raising of our children.

Is it all or nothing? Must I work like I do for it to be enough for me to be balanced or, given time, can I find the joy in being a SAHM that so many woman seem to be able to find?

There is no right answer.